Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
