Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
