better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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