Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
