4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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