Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
