i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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