We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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