thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
