did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
