Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
