i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
