Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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