wat bout pragnant strippers??
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
