i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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