Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
