But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
