hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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