she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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