actually, I'm a sock model
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
