Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
