Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
