He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
