It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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