I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
