eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
