fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
