Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
