no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
