Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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