FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
