And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
