don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
