hotel room ftw
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize