But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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