windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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