Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
