It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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