That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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