I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
