i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize