Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
