I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
