you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
