We're like a lot better than the average bears
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize