A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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