Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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