Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
