My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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