Where did you get a picture of my penis
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
