oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize