I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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