Already got asked if we're dating
I just saw a hot homeless man
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
