the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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