I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
