Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
