Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
