They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize