Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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