Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize