just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
