She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
