we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ttyl tear gas
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
