Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
