I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
