i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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