He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
