all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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