If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
