I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
