I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
