I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
