Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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