I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
