She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
