Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize