the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize